Wednesday's Word: Rejection

‘Keep making anyway.’

Still from Brad Montague’s video, A Pep Talk about a Pep Talk, shared below.

Or perhaps they aren’t your audience?

Or perhaps they aren’t listening?

Keep making anyway!

Dear beloved humans,

A few weeks ago I posted on social media because I’d just been served another rejection email. Just the latest of many. It wasn’t that particular rejection that upset me, it was just that it came on the back of so many others and I really LOVE the paintings I’d submitted. They are well within their rights to choose the work that fits best with the show.

Pursuing creative work means there will be rejection. I have known this for 20-odd years, since doing my MA in Creative Writing when we had to share drafts of our work with each other weekly. We each had to give positive and negative feedback - after each time we shared, we would go home with a marked up copy of our work from each of the other 15 (ish) people in our class. It was scary but vital. Not only to get better at writing and reading, but to get used to having our work looked at and critiqued. And misunderstood.

Soon after completing my MA I began sending my writing to agencies and funding opportunities - nobody wanted it. It didn’t fit into what people were looking for, or didn’t catch the imaginations of the agents or possibly because few of them were finished. Or maybe because my lack of confidence in my work came across. I had one or two things published in tiny magazines and shared a few things online, which was nice, but didn’t objectively ‘lead anywhere.’

So, I should be used to rejection. And I thought I was. But clearly, I’m not. I hate it. It makes me feel small and stupid and like my application or work was a waste of everyone’s time and like there is something wrong with me. And it’s not just in creative work that we can feel rejection, is it? Its in all things. And it hurts. In relationships with kids who suddenly don’t seem to need/want us or friends who seem to forget us. Or when people pointedly look at their laps or change the subject when we talk about what hurts. Or when audiences simply don’t have the capacity, experience, courage or time to understand our ideas, even if we have explained them well.

But do we stop? No, for some reason we don’t. Or, I don’t, at least. I can’t. I keep getting back up and even when I’m feeling like shit, I know that I will, because I am in love. I am in love with so many things, people, ideas, feelings, views, relationships that I need to talk or write or paint about. I can’t not. I am enchanted. I am tired. I am discouraged often. I am in love. And I believe that my perspective is important. Just like yours.

The most terrific hawthorn I saw on a walk last week.

And is our work worthless because someone rejected it? Of course not. Maybe we need to explain in a different way (hello cover letters), maybe it wasn’t the right time, or maybe what we wrote, shared, said made more of an impact than we can ever know. Either on our future work or on someone else.

I wasn’t going to write anything this week because I have been busy with the other job, but I think this rejection letter has been brewing for weeks, so it had to come out.

I was originally going to simply share the video below by a firm favourite of mine,

Brad Montague

. So I’ve posted it below. Enjoy. Keep making anyway!

Enchanted,

Deb x

P.S. Tiny bonus to do - watch this video.